i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
