so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
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yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
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just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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