Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
