U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Enjoy the penises
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