I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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