i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
