Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
