Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
