Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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