Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I cannot find my penis.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
