escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
