And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
