dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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