"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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