when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
