he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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