Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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