Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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