garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize