Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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