Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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