You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
