i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
