ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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