Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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