I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
