Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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