tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
