What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
