If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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