Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize