Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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