i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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