Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
