Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
