Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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