What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
