...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
