Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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