dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
