Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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