just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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