I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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