I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
