I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think my nap took me to another dimension
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
