idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
