i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Pants are for mortals
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize