the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
