when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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