You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Everclear isn't food dammit
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
