No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
