the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
