So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
