the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
