I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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