We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
