she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
