someone threw a dead crab at me
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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