Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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