The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
