she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
