i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
What a dumb baby whore.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize