when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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