he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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