So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
What happened to fro yo and sex?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Terrible idea I love it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
